There are days where the kids get along great, are cuddly and happy, all the clichés - very truly a joy to be around.
And then there are days where I would like a sign to wear around my neck that simply explains why I am insane. You know, just to put it out there.
It's that Jekyll and Hyde relationship. The one that says "I love you and will literally do anything for you" and also the one that says "You whine ONE more time and I will end you!".
Today was more the second of that statement...
You kind of realize it the second everyone is up. There is a mood, something in the air. You thought your question of "which kind of cereal would you like this morning?" was easy enough. But you were sorely, sorely mistaken. You see, they didn't WANT cereal for breakfast.
Silly mom.
That's when you know.
This little army is ready to TAKE YOU DOWN.
Sigh. BIG cup of coffee. It's going to be a looong one....
Like most every mom I know, you stop judging other moms the second you have children of your own. I don't mean the second you have an infant. I mean after you at least tough out the terrible threes. Age two was nothing in this house. Three was where it was at. If you can make it to four years old - you might have a fighting chance. We haven't gotten much farther than that so I can't say how it plays out from there but the twins will be 2 1/2 next month. We are entering dangerous waters....
Yes, yes, I have the benefit of them being best friends and playing together and learning from what their sister has done in the past. But the thing with doubling this age is that you are probably dealing with at least one of them whining or perhaps throwing a tantrum most of the day. Like most of everyday. Like that's partly why I am insane. The other part is their overly-dramatic sister...or simply the fact that they have all become motor mouths and my ears get tired of filtering three conversations at the same time all day, everyday. Insane.
So you tough out a morning of these little soldiers playing together. Each activity starting out innocent enough, but ending with an issue, whining or tears or fits. Regardless. It's just one of those days. You can put yourself in the bathroom for a deep breath and regroup as often as you want but you will still emerge to the insanity.
You think, ok ok- let's go take a walk. Get some fresh air, play at the park. Yeah. Sounds good. Off you go. Addison has gone from the energizer bunny on her bike to the daydream believer. A pedal here, a glide there, gazing, people watching. Collecting a leaf here, trying to haul a lady bug along for the ride there. Cute and all, until the 20th time you literally trip over her while hauling her brothers in the wagon as you realize that the shoes you are wearing give you blisters and why did you grab them for a walk anyway? The boys are being pretty quiet - oh til you realize they are dragging their hands on the ground and flipping their legs out of the wagon and getting their fingers pinched in the wagon wheels. You pass by a friendly neighbor who chit chats for a minute. Not two steps away Addison feels it's an acceptable time to ask, "Why doesn't that guy have hair?". "Oh, it's a style Addison - like how Uncle John wears his hair." "No, Uncle John shaves his head, this guy just has all these little hairs." I hobble away as my blisters become more raw.
We make it to the park. Small victory! The kids are off playing and I am tucking baby wipes in the back of my shoes because otherwise I think the boys will be hauling me back in that wagon. This, like everything else today takes a slight turn for the worse. No real reason why. Nothing major. It's just one of those days. I load everyone back up and begin hobbling with my tucked in butt wipes back home. Pass another neighbor who smiles and must wonder what the hell is hanging out of the back of my shoes.
Addison gets an itch on her right thigh. Apparently this means that leg can no longer pedal. So now we are amusing ourselves with how to go forward using only one pedal. Let me tell you - it's REALLY fast. I can feel whatever "mild" cleanser is on these wipes slowly seeping into my raw blisters and I am barely holding it together people. Pepper all this with conversations such as,
"Mom, what is that on the sidewalk?"
"Sidewalk chalk, just like what you have".
"I don't think it is".
"Pretty sure that it is, Addison. Why don't you think it is?"
"Well, I don't think it is because it doesn't look like fun".
"Why doesn't it look like fun?"
"They didn't do good drawings with it"
"Well, what's fun to you might not be what someone else thinks is fun and everyone draws things differently"
"I think they just CRUSHED the chalk"
Into the house. Time for ballet. Get the kids snacks. Get her dressed. Grab some toys to keep the boys busy. We're OUT. But you see, it's never that simple. Because eating snacks is no fun when you can just play with the food. And telling extremely detailed stories leaves no time to chew. Going to the bathroom before we leave takes at a bare minimum 20 requests. Bare minimum. Chasing and pinning the boys down to get their shoes on steals another 10 minutes. Where did Addison go? Oh, changing her outfit again and collecting Strawberry Shortcakes for the car ride. What time is it? Shoot! We need to be in the car NOW. Wait, where did Lucas and Evan go?
The car ride. Ahhh, everyone is held my hostage. I turn on the radio. A few minutes to listen to a song I like and pretend I am not driving a minivan. Well, that would be nice. But you see, Addison is in the very back of the van playing 1000 questions with me and I can not hear her with the radio on. Lucas and Evan play this new fun game of fighting over who claims each and every truck we pass. Or they just all talk on top of each other. Looks like it's back to "Wheels on the Bus"... and I am slipping into a deeper insanity.
Now let's just briefly visit ballet class if you will. 45 mins of bored toddlers watching their sister or in tonight's case passing God awful gas every 5 minutes. Did that kid just crap his pants? Oh no! Just my kid farting! No worries! Sorry! Not sure what they ate!
So you see - sometimes I meet all of this with grace and humor and love and other times, God bless them - I just want a straight jacket!!
