Hardest Job in the World

Many refer to it as "the hardest job in the world" and most people upon hearing that description smile and nod, thinking that surely we should give credit to those stay at home mom's who make it their job to raise children.  But in the back of our minds I think many people think - how hard would it be to wake up with the kids, stay home with them and just hold them all day and play with them?  Drive them where they need to go.  Throw in a load of laundry, pick up a few toys?  Sounds pretty fun and easy!

I used to have a totally different picture of what staying at home with kids would be like.  I imagined myself dressed AND showered, playing with the kids in a nice clean house.  My kids were of course well behaved, only giving me a hard time maybe once in a while.  Playing in the backyard on nice days.  Play dates with friends.  Coffee.  Free time during nap time.

Um, yea....

I have to laugh as I throw down this glimpse into my reality as a stay at home mom.  Don't get me wrong, I am overwhelmed with love for my children and despite the tough aspects, I love being here with them everyday and consider myself very fortunate to be able to do that.  There are many others out there in more difficult situations such as single parents, those dealing with children that have handicaps or illnesses, etc.  Working moms, who deal with a whole different set of challenges.  To those people I give much credit.  Admittedly though, there are some days that I want to tackle Justin for his car keys right before he leaves for work and instead take off myself and enjoy like 5 seconds of alone time on my drive to find sanity.

Waking up leisurely with three kids under 3yrs is more like being rudely awakened at 5am after enjoying a nice solid stretch of 2 or 3 hours of sleep that was constantly interrupted by the kicks of one of your children (yea, never letting them in the bed didn't seem to work out quite like I thought....) that for whatever reason had trouble sleeping and found their way into your room.  Then it's putting one twin on each hip and convincing Addison that she can, in fact, WALK on her own down the stairs first thing in the morning - even though she would prefer to be carried as well.  Then it's changing diapers, trying to appease two one-year olds that would love to wake up for a minute in your lap, but really don't get that option often because there are in fact two of them.  Getting Addison settled and then and only then can I begin to think about taking a pee.  Of course taking a pee is done with either my 3 yr old right in there talking to me about what cartoon she'd like to watch or what cereal she is in the mood for or it's done with the twins busting through the gate to join me and maybe rifle through the bathroom garbage as I wrap up that pee as fast as I can in sheer horror trying to jump off the toilet to corral them back into a safer place.  We hit the ground sprinting.  No doubt about it.

Showering with young children in the house is comical.  Either they join me in the bathroom getting into everything under the sun and opening and closing the shower curtain on me the entire time (so much for the warm part of the shower).  OR, they are roaming somewhere else in the house getting into something or making a mess or helping themselves to snacks.   Or they are babies and just plain screaming because I put them in an exersaucer or crib and "left" their sight for 5 minutes.  Even if they were peacefully napping, 9 times out of 10 they will wake up as soon as I get my hair wet.  It's like a rule.  It's so relaxing. 

A clean house.  Cue the high pitched laughter of an insane person.  (I have to say I stole that line from another blog I read because I found it so fitting and it made me laugh so hard).  Justin and I are kind of anal about trying to keep a clean house but even we have to let this fly out the window most days.  Cleaning highchairs should be on America's Dirtiest Jobs - hands down.  Naptime is spent running around as fast as my legs can carry me to retrieve some sort of fleeting order to the house so that the afternoon's tornado will take a little less time to clean after the kids go to bed.  Laundry has turned into probably the one thing that haunts me in my dreams (or should I say nightmares).  It's never done. 

Meals.  Well, my kids are fed.  It's hit or miss for me...

Addison no longer naps, but getting the twins to go down together is quite an art.  I can count on some shenanigans happening downstairs as I take one of them up to lay them down.  Once asleep, I've learned which cries I can let go and which ones require me to run in there and snatch one of them up like I am making a prison break while simultaneously praying to God I don't hit that squeaky floorboard and wake the other one up.  Fun times.

Playing outside.  Great in theory.  Fun for the kids at least.  Meanwhile back at the ranch there I am, sweating like a pig after working so hard to get everyone out and set up.  Then someone has to go to the bathroom or outside is for some reason unknown to me no longer that appealing to the babies.  Hauling them all back in is another good workout for sure.

There is no such thing as a quick errand.  If we have to go somewhere, it takes about all morning to line it up.  Then comes that small window of time where everyone is fed, changed, happy and you run like hell to load the van up and squeal the tires on the way out of the driveway so that you can preserve this rare moment in time.  Get to the store, unload all three kids from their carseats one at a time and go about your business, which for a person with multiples is never quick because each and every person will stop you, oogle at the twins and tell you a lengthy story about so and so who they knew, whose cousin's friend's brother had twins.  I know they are being genuine.  And I appreciate it.  But some days...    Once home, I unload three children one at a time out of their carseat into the house and deal with everyone being tired and / or hungry at the same time.

Dealing with meltdowns.  For the twins it's little fits (though very ear piercing) here and there when they fight over a toy or are tired/not feeling well and want me.  For Addison it is power struggles or attention getting tantrums.  Now my kids are pretty laid back and well behaved, but there are days that I think if I hear another scream I will hit my head against the wall until I pass out just to make them go away.  (is that more socially acceptable than drinking myself into an oblivion??).

Basically, by the end of the day I have had not one solid minute to myself without a child at me needing something or everything.  I haven't had a chance to collect my thoughts or even acknowledge that I had thoughts.   I realize that I've hardly had any adult interaction.   I never thought it would be quite like that.  I think that is why I put "Mom" right up there with one of the hardest jobs in the world.  I'm sure there are others, but being a stay at home mom is often overlooked.  No one is there to witness the battles you face all day everyday.  There is no quiet car drive into work.  There is no lunch break.  There are no bathroom breaks! There is no "going home" from your job.  It follows you into your eveninsg and nights, on your vacations, there is no escaping!  It is very rewarding and very important, but hardly genuinely acknowledged.  Some days all I selfishly want is someone to look me in the eyes and tell me "It's hard.  And you are doing a good job."

So to all you great moms out there, from the bottom of my heart I tell you "It's HARD.  And you are doing a GREAT job."